Wanting and Having
by Wotcher-Tonks
Summary: Charlie Weasley knows the difference between wanting and having. onesided Charlie/Tonks for the Random Characters Challenge on HPFC.


Written for the Random Characters Challenge on HPFC. I got Charlie and Remus.

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**Wanting and Having**

_"Because you always want the very most what you can never, ever have."_ - Leah Clearwater, Breaking Dawn, pg.319

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For as long as he lived (and quite some time after,) Charlie Weasley wanted Nymphadora Tonks.

He knew he wanted her by the way her mere touch made his heart race, and her voice his mind. He also knew he needed her, because both his first thought when he woke in the morning and his last thought before falling asleep at night were of her, and that was what kept him going.

And he knew he loved her, from the way his heart ached whenever she spoke of Remus and the way she would smile suddenly and he just _knew_ she was thinking of Remus. Charlie attended the wedding, though it split his heart in two.

(Because those who say they just want the one they love to be happy are damned liars.)

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i. When he first saw her she was standing in front of him waiting anxiously for her Sorting. Her new friend Proserpina Abbott stood next to her, both of them visibly nervous. Her hair was a deep, rich auburn, and Charlie immediately felt a strange urge to impress her. So he started talking to her about dragons. She listened, and seemed genuinely interested.

Charlie felt quite successful when she gifted him with that smile uniquely hers, no matter what face she was wearing. He was really disappointed when she was Sorted into Hufflepuff, and he into Gryffindor, and remained that way for the rest of the night (prompting a Muggleborn first-year to call him Charlie Brown.)

When he finally fell asleep in his luxurious four poster that night, he thought of her, that quirky girl giving a cheeky wave to the gossiping Slytherins. He admired her bravery.

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ii. They became great friends, and he often spent his free time with Tonks and Abbott, (Proserpina, who preferred to be called by her surname as well.) Charlie's crush on her had never really left, but intensified with the passing of time.

One day they were all sitting under their favorite tree next to the lake studying for their OWLs, when Abbott got up to retrieve a book they needed from the library. Charlie, who had been trying to get Tonks alone for days, decided to seize this opportunity.

"I've got something to tell you, Tonks," he began. The words came out in a rush instead of the smooth, suave way he had imagined.

"You're madly in love with Madam Rosmerta and you're getting married next Hogsmeade weekend? Because you _know_ I can't attend, I've got detention for that prank I pulled on Snape last-" She stopped, because Charlie had put a hand over her lips.

"I'm in love with you," he told her seriously. He took his hand off.

"You're joking, right?" she asked, her and tone unreadable.

"No."

"Charlie," she sighed. "You know Abbott is besotted with you?-"

He started to answer.

"No," she interrupted in a weary voice. "Boys _never_ know these things."

"I-"

"Charlie, I can't," she said, and her eyes were full of pity and regret. "I'm sorry to hurt you, but Abbott's fancied you for _ages_ and I don't quite feel the same..." she trailed off.

"That's okay," he lied.

"Really?" she asked skeptically.

"Really," he lied again.

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iii. It is seventh year, and Charlie is sitting at the top of the Astronomy Tower with her. They had managed to be friends again, but it was hard on Charlie to see her every day and pretend.

"I'm going to Romania."

"They accepted your application?" she asks joyfully.

"Yes," he says grinning. He knows that he wants to spend his life working with dragons, and he didn't get an O in Care of Magical Creatures on his NEWTs for nothing.

"Oh, Charlie," she says happily, and hugs him. He hesitates, but hugs her back. He tries to enjoy this embrace while he can, though he can't let her suspect he still loves her. So he casually pries his arms free, and the action nearly kills him.

It's hard as hell not to kiss her when they're sitting at the top of a tower at midnight, looking at the stars. But he doesn't, because she would just reject him (damn Hufflepuff loyalty) and all his careful lies would fall away.

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iv. He comes back to England infrequently, and never goes to see her, though they exchange letters often. The next time he sees her is at the Order, and he can tell that she is smitten with Remus. When they get married, it is no surprise to anybody.

Try as he might, he can't bring himself to hate Remus. Remus catches his eye at the wedding and nods, and Charlie knows that Tonks told him, probably just in passing, that Charlie used to fancy her. Used to. What a joke.

And she's blushing with joy, and she's never looked prettier. When he shakes Remus' hand afterward he manages a smile, and he kisses Tonks on the cheek and pretends...

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v. He goes to her funeral, and cries just as much as he did for Fred. He goes to Remus' and cries too, because he wanted Tonks to be happy for at least a little while, even though he was burning with jealousy. And every year, until he dies (at the proper age, not young and in love like her,) he brings a red rose to her grave on her birthday. Every year.

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**I mean this to just be a drabble, but it turned into a monster drabble about Charlie. I have never written him before, but now I quite like him! Poor Charlie. Please review and let me know what you thought! :D**


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